Married to a Vampire

I did NOT want to get up this morning, coffee or no coffee.  The idea of jumping into a cold pool was not enticing, but I managed to slug through this morning's swim workout.  The main set was 4x300yds free, descending, followed by 3x100yds back flutter kick with fins and with arms in a flagpole position.  I am a pretty fast kicker with fins, but I am so amazingly slow in the flagpole position.  If you want to see what I look like, look below.  In the third lane from the bottom of the picture, you will see a swimmer in a yellow cap with her hands barely clear of the water.  That's me.  I look like I am drowning.

Courtesy of Marcia

Last night after work, I was feeling rather ragged, worn-out, stressed-out, and exhausted.  At about 7PM, I passed out on the bed with the Princess banging her high-tech toy, which can sing, dance, and say her name, against my ribs.  Thankfully, my husband was home early and helped watch the Princess when she cried for attention as I laid there unconscious. 

You have probably heard of the phenomenon called Twilight, the dramatic, emo love story of a girl named Bella and a vegetarian vampire named Edward by Stephanie Meyer. Twilight has been quite the craze among teenage girls and actually among women in general. For men, on the other hand, it has been slow to catch on.  I confess that the books are not particularly well-written or of high quality literature, but the character of Edward who is the total embodiment of the perfect guy, rescusing the lucky girl at a moment's notice with his supernatural powers, has girls pining for their own vampire prince and has guys rolling their eyes.  Well, I have been lucky (or unlucky) to be married to my very own vampire.

The positive side of being married to a vampire is that while I am struggling to keep my eyes open at night, he is quite alert and awake.  This comes in handy when the Princess is throwing a fit at night.  Instead of having two tired, cranky parents trying to calm her down, we have one tired, cranky, angry, half-conscious parent (me) and one awake, patient, caring, loving parent (husband). 

The negative side of this vampire husband is that he is not a morning person and is super sensitive to light and sound.  Him not being a morning person should actually be a benefit because it allows me to sneak out in the morning to row or swim.  Unfortunately, he is super sensitive to light and sound, thus, having me turn on lights and get ready in the morning often wakes him up. 

If I were a vampire too, I would be able to see in the dark, but alas, I am only a mortal human with really, really, really poor eyesight.  I cannot see a thing without my glasses or contacts, and without turning on lights, I end up tripping over toys, blankets, and other random things on the floor not cleared away. Every morning I try to get dressed, pack my work clothes, pack my lunch, and make my coffee commando style, silent and in the dark.  Every so often, more frequently that I would like to admit, my commando-styled mornings end up more like CounterStrike gun battles with me flushing the toilet, opening the squeaky pantry door, running into walls, and frantically ripping through the whole house to find my keys.  This, of course, wakes the vampire husband who is not happy when his vampire beauty sleep is interrupted.

While other girls may still be longing for their own vampire Edward, mine did not turn out as glamorous or romantic as Edward in the storybook, but he is a vampire, neverthless!